No Easy Road.
There is no easy or quick road to return to what was your normal life after the death of a spouse. The return road is what it is. It’s a dark road that no one would choose to travel. Every person’s journey on that road is different yet we all have similarities. For me, I could not do any genealogy at all. At first it was because I hurt. I was in shock. I was overwhelmed. And none of those have really gone away except the barrier between his death and my taking up genealogy again.
Genealogy for me is fun. I enjoy it. I have since the first moment that I looked up some family history.
So how could I do something fun. Something enjoyable. I was supposed to be sad. And I was. I am. It’s taken three months to even think about blogging again. To think about compiling resources. To opening RootsMagic just to look. Can I bring further organization to what I have made better before that horrible day when I can’t even organize key & important records needed right now? Until just a few days ago I would think about it and do nothing. Some days I barely functioned at all. I still haven’t gone back to my volunteer position as a librarian at Nichols Memorial Library or as the site administrator for NEAGS.
Yesterday and again tonight I started back on genealogy in a sorta roundabout way.
Yesterday — I ordered the “Windows 10 Survival Guide for Genealogists” by Thomas MacEntee. Frankly, I don’t need it but I have friends who do. This is a succinct book that covers the key aspects you need to know. And I ordered “Historic families of Kentucky. With special reference to stocks immediately derived from the valley of Virginia: tracing in detail their various genealogical connections and illustrating from historic” by Thomas Marshall Green. And yes, the title ends exactly like that.
Tonight — Since my husband’s death as a genealogy newsletter & or announcement arrived, I tried to remember to shove them into an email folder named “Genealogy”. No, I wasn’t very creative with folder naming. I did not look at them. I just stored them. Tonight I went through about 150 emails and looked at each one. I kept the ones that looked interesting or had value [for me] and I deleted the rest. I ended up with 60+.
And I also know that I can start, even if it’s one small step at a time, contributing to the genealogy world again. One step at a time.
It’s a very small start I know, but it’s a start. A beginning of what will have to become my “new normal”. I would love though to have him here to tell some little fact I found. I would love to see him try to look remotely interested. I would love to hear him complain “she’s always doing genealogy“.